Take it off, take it all off

Way back in the Stone Age of 1967 there was an advertising campaign that ran utilizing the Swedish model Gunilla Knutson. Now for those of you who do not know who she was or maybe still is, she was a blonde bombshell of no small fame at the time. 

But anyhow, she was featured on an ad for Noxzema medicated shaving cream, and she would begin by telling you in a great sexy foreign spy type accent to use this product. Then to some cheap stripper music a man shaves for us on screen. Finally good old Gunilla comes back on and gives that famous line of “Take it off, take it all off.” 

That's pretty much it but sales were huge on the product due to this campaign as men everywhere could just envision themselves getting a Swedish smorgasbord of their own after using the creamy concoction. 

I thought of this the other day when it was so blamed hot and humid, and Miss Trixie reminded Ol’ Dutch that it's better than cold weather as in the heat you can always take off more clothes. 

Whereas in really cold weather no amount of L.L. Bean inner and outer wear can help keep your buns warm. And if you have ever eaten out, you know there is nothing like cold buns. Or something like that. 

So there I was trying to get all the chores done before departing for Colorful Colorado with sweat trickling down my back and into my shorts and cursing that Texas Sun like a trooper on steroids. 

For it seemed that no matter how much I took off, I was still basting temperature hot and there was concern that the fat was going to start to bubble at some point. 

Close and nosey neighbors kept Ol’ Dutch from going Godiva on the tractor but I was tempted, nonetheless. Which also got me to thinking about said lady of clothless fame. 

It had to be quite the shock back in those days I guess to see a naked woman on a horse riding past and I do get that part of the mystique. But I have to wonder if she was just exceptionally pretty or just pretty average as to her body mass index. 

You know. That's the pesky number the weight trainers assign you so you will throw good money at them to help you lower it to some impossible goal. 

Today we are simply overwhelmed by the presentation of scantily clad women and men too not only for advertising but also just for shock effect on their loving fans. 

We have seen more Kardashian butt than we care to see and the latest trend of dresses cut to the crotch and no brassiere to hold up the accompanying flesh has given us no end to exposure. 

And like it or not, flesh is here to stay as for some reason naked flesh sells us everything from beer, to boats to cars and more. 

I knew we were in for it when the hunting shows on television began to feature beautiful women out in the hills and dales pursuing game of every type and kind. And Ol’ Dutch wasn't born yesterday-to which Miss Trixie turns all religious on me with a firm “Amen” to that-so I know those vixens are not out there to get some meat for the table but once again to sell me something to use on my own pursuit of happiness. 

Just watch them long enough and you will be inundated with advertising for elk estrogen, bull in heat calls, doe pee and other things that most ladies of years past were too embarrassed to even talk about. 

And they have not forgotten their roots in the advertising world as some of them have on their camouflage bikini tops and shorty shorts to draw in bucks from the bucks they are trying to reach. 

But here we are now I guess, watching these bow shooting beauties and dreaming of maybe someday a doe of her caliber would visit us in the elk camp. But rest assured if you hang around any of them long enough, those hunting camps will soon be a thing of the past as you will be mowing her grass, fixing her car and taking care of a passel of kids before too long. 

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com.