Trout Republic: Eye see

This past week found Ol’ Dutch visiting the local hospital for some routine blood work.

I don’t know about you all but it’s a hassle to have to drive a long distance for a procedure that takes only a few seconds. But it is necessary, so I go.

The usual person there does a great job and I never really feel the needle so it’s not a big deal. Ol’ Dutch has known more than a few people however who think a simple blood draw is akin to a visit from Count Dracula himself.

People have been known to faint, need sedatives, scream and yell and say more than a few cuss words with a simple pinprick to their arm or hand.

As for me, I have never minded it much and just keep talking to the person assigned to take me down a pint or two. Well, maybe just a test tube full.

This past week did have a different twist to the ordeal as when I got to the waiting room there were about 30-odd people filling the available seating and lined up down the hall.

I had a lot to do that day and my heart just sank thinking I was going to have to take a number in the double digits for my turn.

But soon the door opened for the lab and I was the only one that was there for blood work. The people lining the halls were there for cataract surgery.

For those of you that don’t know, doctor can shoot a laser or ultrasound into the eye and somehow remove all kinds of problems.

This has been a miracle cure for so many people as they can suddenly see again, many after years of being almost blind.

But there they sat waiting for their turn under the laser and what I found funny was every one of them were engrossed in their cell phones.

I am quite used to seeing young people engrossed in their mini boob tube to the point of ignorance, but these people were seniors – older than even Ol’ Dutch.

No one talked about the weather, politics or religion and I was shocked to find out that not a one of them were showing past scars from surgeries.

Normally you get a group of seniors together and the conversation digresses from grandchildren to surgical procedures they have had, and it becomes a game of “one upmanship” of sorts with displays of scars in places you really do not want to see.

But here they were heads all bowed in some kind of religious worship to the cellphone in their hands. Which makes me wonder if they maybe got the problems with their eyes from too much screen time?

And Ol’ Dutch can pretty much guarantee that not a few of them will be back in there for carpal tunnel surgery from clickety clacking on those infernal devices.

I am thankful for not needing laser surgery, but I worry that one day Miss Trixie will get her eyes fixed and realize just how bad Ol’ Dutch is. She might just fly the coop with her newfound pupils.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected] Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.


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