In today’s world maintaining some semblance of marital cohabitational harmony is increasingly difficult.

People are pulled this way and that by the pressures of everyday living, which can have a negative effect on their relationship with their spouse or significant other.

In my own household, Ol’ Dutch is celebrating -- and Miss Trixie is tolerating -- eight years of putting up with one another. All in all it’s been very good and there are no complaints -- well, none that anyone wants to hear anyway.

At the beginning of June, I posted to Facebook that Miss Trixie and I were splitting up and it caused quite an uproar among the non-hunters of our friends.

Now, I say it was the non-hunters because as any good hunter knows when you get out of the truck and say, “let’s split up and meet back here,” it’s not permanent.  Neither person has any intention of trudging home afoot, and neither did Miss Trixie or I intend on letting the other person go.

But we did split up for a few weeks. She had family to take care of in Texas and Ol’ Dutch brought the Conestoga to the cool and blessed Colorado mountains.

Our separation, though, ends this week. We have survived being apart and I must admit to missing her smiling face and encouraging words. But don’t tell her that as I still have at least half of my man card after these eight years and don’t want to lose it.

There was concern on my part that my singleness would cause a commotion among the available ladies in the Valley but the only one that seemed remotely interested was 85 years old and wanted my pension.

After the sheet splitting with my ex, I dated several young ladies who introduced me to their fathers. I recall more than one sharp old man quickly ascertaining that I had a pension and, thus he decided, a prime candidate for a tuxedo and a coupling with his daughter.

Some of those conniving Dads (and daughters,) I escaped by the grace of God and others by sheer luck, but when Trixie came along, I fell for her like a sack of potatoes off the wagon.

For those ladies who are suddenly realizing that Ol’ Dutch has been vulnerable and without female company these many weeks, I am afraid you are too late as Trixie is coming home.

There is a conundrum however that I am trying to solve and that is just how much housework to do before she gets here.

The laundry is no problem as I have worn the same clothes most of the time. I learned this from my son. When he was about 10 years old he went to church camp and when he came home he was wearing the same clothes he had when he left. After inspecting his suitcase, the only article of clothing that he used was a swimming suit. It’s a guy thing, ladies.

Another thing I learned from my days as a bachelor is that you can do some laundry in the shower while you bathe. Gym shorts are a good example of washing and wearing to the extreme.

The rest of the camper, however, does present a problem. On one hand, if I don’t clean anything, she will probably feel discouraged and, since she is already tired from a month of helping her family, may fall apart. On the other, if I do too much she may think she is not needed or worse, she may think some side chick has been here ahead of her which is a real reach as Ol’ Dutch is too tight to date anyone.

And far be it from Ol’ Dutch to ever step on her territory as I am just not that kind of a guy. I am more the sensitive, caring kind that will leave her some work to do so that she can roll her eyes and sigh thereby resurrecting our normal life of marital bliss.

I am not sure those two words even belong together the way some people act but then again, there seem to be a lot of happily married people out there that stay together a lifetime. Either that or they are too tired -- or like Ol’ Dutch, too cheap -- to even try to find another other. But, don’t tell Trixie.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic